Dis time, I iz gonna be talkin’ about whut happens wen Mom goes to Tulsa an leefs me in charge! Mom wen to Tulsa da oder day an boy, did we haf a fine time! Click da icon below to find out whut happened…

Oh, an before ewe start sayin’ stuff like I shudn’t be dooin’ dat…I jest want to remind ewe dat I’m 8 whole yeers old, so technically I’m old enuff to do whut I want!

Anway, here’s my podcast!

WienerBites Episode 3
(iPhone/iPad users click album art to play; everyone else click the player below)

Isn’t dat about da funniest ting ewe’ve ever herd? I meen, Big Head has seriously gotta get a wittle smaller hed ‘cuz she wreaks disaster everywhere!

Well, all my wiener luvin’ peeps, it’s time for me to go have my evening snak. I’m hopin’ for ice cream, but knowin’ Mom, I’ll prolly jest get a piece of cheese or sumthin’!

Stay cool and tune in later for anoder episode!

Luv, Jazzy the Amazing Wiener!

My pet, Lily, had puppies!!!! I’m offishully an Ant!!!

Here’s my podcast to tell ewe all about it an I haf pikchurs below of da new puppies, too!

WienerBites Episode 2
(iPhone users click album art to play)

See, about a month ago, Mom got a phone call frum da Spy. I nos I shud call da Spy by her name, Angela, but she tells on me when I haf parties an stuff, so I calls her da Spy. Anyways, da Spy called an sed to Mom, “Ewe gots to come down to my wurk. Der’s a little lost dog dat’s been out here in da parking lot an it’s gonna get runned over.” Well, da Spy might haf talked a little bedder dan I type, but ewe nos whut I meen.

Anyways, Mom went an got da wittle dog. It was a Boston Terrier and da minute I saw her, I sed to Mom, “Kan we keep her?!” Mom sed no. But obviously dat’s changed ’cause now Lily lives wid us and she’s my pet and she had puppies!

See, we didn’t nos dat Lily was pregnant when we rescued her! We twied to find her an owner, but no one wanted her. So Mom an da Spy kept her an she fit in nicely ’cause she kleened my ears an pestered Katie all da time. Dat makes her all wight in my book!

Anyways, I noticed she was getting a wittle fat one day an I even sed to her, “Hey, Lily, ur kinda turning into a wittle porker. Maybe knock off da tweats, okay?” But none of us thought she was gonna haf babies! But she did, she did, she did! Dis meens dat I am now offishully Jazzy the Amazing Wiener who’s an Ant!!!

Here’s sum pikchurs I took wid Mom’s iPhone of da babies…

Lily and her babies
An da Spy took one of da first baby. It was a wittle girl. Da next one was a wittle boy!

Little Girl Puppy #1
It’s so wittle! I don’t tink I was quite dat little! Mom an da Spy haf Lily all settled down, so da babies cud nurse, which dey are doing. An dey squeak! When dey squeak, Katie shakes an twies to climb into Mom’s lap! It kwacks me up!!! I laffed at her for being such a big scaredy Doberman!

Anyways, dat’s whut happened tonight. An I haf to say, da Spy is all wight in my book. See, da Doktor tol her dat Lily wud haf died ’cause she cudn’t haf da puppies normal ’cause dey was too big. So dey had to do a see-section, whutever dat is. An because da Spy saved Lily in da parking lot, she also saved da puppies, too. So, I wants to say dat I weally do tink ur okay, Ange, even if ewe are a Spy! Ur an official “Wiener,” an only special tweeps get to be Wieners!

Also, Mom sed dat der were a lots of peeps dat helped tonight, ‘specially her students dat put up wid her being kinda crazy during class. I wanna tell Bill an Camden dat dey are A-OK in my book an I am gonna make dem offishul “Wieners” for being der for Lily. Mom sed we shud name da puppies Billy an Camden ’cause dey helped out! An to Gary K. for drivin’ over to make sure da Spy didn’t pass out, even tho dey had alweady left. Tanks, G-man, for twyin’ to help, too! Ur a Wiener in my book, too!

Whew! Whut a night! Dat’s a lot for a little wiener like me to take in, so I tink I’ll call it a night! Hopes all ewe haf a gweat day an I’ll catch ya on da flip side!

Guessed it yet?!

Mom finally let me start doing my own podcast! Yeppers, dat’s wight! I’m now offishull ~ I gots my own WienerBites radio show! I’m like gonna be big like, I don’t no, maybe Howard Stern minus all da stoopid an dirty stuff he says. Maybe I’ll jest be big like a radio version of Oprah or Ellen! Not dat I’m live on da radio, but it’s da next best ting to being here wid me! I gets to talk about anyting I want an Mom promised to post da tings I say in a podcast! So dis meens ewe gets to hear Jazzy the Amazing Wiener talk! So, if ewe haf always wondered, “Hmm, I wunner whut Jazzy sounds like!” Well, now ewe nos!

Mom even made me an offishul album cover. Here it is…

WienerBites Episode 1
(iPhone users click album art to play)

Now, anytime ewe see dis album cover wid da headphones icon, ewe nos all ewe gotta do is click it and listen to a new podcast! I’ll also post old episodes on da blog in de Archives once we get sum.

Is dis kool or whut?! How many wieners ewe no dat haf their own podcast?! I wunner if we could change it to “wienercast?!”

Mom sed she’d also start lettin’ me do sum video, but it wud take awhile ’cause she don’t haf time to do all dis for me all da time. I tol her, “Mom, look, now I nos ewe got a bidness to run, but come on…who’s gonna make ewe famous?! It’s not Katie an it’s not Lily…it’s me! I’m da famous one, Mom. Me. I’m da one who gets fan mail. I got tweeps. I gots followers. Don’t ewe tink dat maybe ewe shud make time for me?!”

Once again, Mom jest looked at me an sighed. I herd her mutter sumting about, “Stinkin’ little wiener’s got da big hed…” or sumtin like dat. I don’t no whut dat meens, but my hed’s not big at all. Now Katie’s hed was big an Grady’s was, too, but I gots a little wiener hed. I tink Mom needs to check her glasses!

Anyways, I jest wanted to let ewe all no dat I’ll be talkin’ to ewe all now!

Coming up next…
Yes, I wemember dat I was supposed to tell more of my birth story and I promise I will. I also haf to tell ewe about my new pet, Lily. I gots my own pet! Isn’t dat kool? Anyways, I gots to go, but I luv ewe all an will be back soon!