Archive for the ‘Arkansas’ Category

RIP Gizmo ~ my boyfriend

My sweet boyfriend frum Arkansas, Gizmo the Miniature Pinscher, died today. I iz heartbroken, so I decided to write dis tribute to him!

Dat’s him above. Isn’t he handsome?!

Gizmo belonged to my Mamaw an Papaw. One day wen my Mamaw wuz at wurk, she saw dis wittle dog running down da road wid a chain on his neck. She jest knew he wuz gonna get hit, so she scooped him up outta da road. He wuz in bad shape an ewe cud tell he’d been running awhile. Sumone had even done sumthin’ bad to him ‘cuz he had a scarred bald spot of fur dat never grew back!

So, wight den, Mamaw decided to take Gizmo home. She saved his wittle life dat day. An in turn, he brought joy an happiness to my Mamaw an Papaw for so many yeers! One day, Papaw told my Mom, “Listen to this! He can say ‘I love you!’” Well, we all tink our dogs kan talk, wight? Well, wittle Gizmo cud! He tol Papaw, “I love you!” It sounded sorta like “Owwrr  ruuuuvv ewe!” but ewe nos whut I meen! Mom wuz weally impressed! Gizmo wuz one smart little MinPin!

Wen I wud go visit Mamaw an Papaw, Gizmo turned on da charm! He wud kleen my ears an lick my neck an kiss me all da time! At first, I acted like I didn’t like him an wud hide unnerneath Mamaw’s china cabinet! But I wuz weally jest playin’ hard to get! Gizmo weally showed me how much he loved me one day wen he took on Grady da Doberman Pinscher! I guess he thought Grady wuz competition, but Grady wuz my broder. Yucky to dat idea! Anyways, Grady gots close to me one day an Gizmo decided he wuz gonna eat Grady for lunch! Grady backed up an went away. Gizmo wuz so proud, his wittle chest puffed right out an he sed, “See there, Jazzy! No one messes with my Wiener!” I couldn’t bear to tell him Grady cud put a can of Whoop-a** on him so fast his wittle head wud spin, so I jest let him tink he skeered Grady off! It wuz cute!

Gizmo wuz a weally kool guy. Mamaw sed every night he wud haf ice cream wid dem. He liked his ice cream! He also luved his wittle bear! Mamaw never let me play wid his bear. In fact, she wud put it up wen I comed to visit! I guess she thought I wud tear it up or sumthin’. Can’t imagine why! :) Anyways, Mamaw an Papaw sed Gizmo wud not go to bed at night widout his wittle bear. An if he cudn’t find it, dey had to get up an help him find his bear! If he gots tired before Mamaw an Papaw were ready for bed, he wud sumtimes stand in da bedroom door an cry at dem, tryin’ to get dem to go to bed wid him!

But ewe nos whut Gizmo loved most of all? His Mamaw an Papaw. He tol me one time, “You know, Jazzy, I was so scared that day when Mamaw found me. I had been running for what felt like forever. I was hungry. I was tired. And I was scared. When Mamaw scooped me up and looked at me with those pretty blue eyes, I knew my life was going to change for the better! I vowed right then and there that everyday I would do my best to make them happy, watch over them, and protect them as long as I could. They saved my life that day, Jazzy.” I jest cried an cried wen Gizmo tol me dat story. It wuz so touching an I’m so glad Mamaw saved him. Da pikchur below iz Mamaw an Gizmo frum a few yeers ago. Aren’t they both jest beautiful!

Gizmo, ewe are da sweetest boyfriend I haf ever had an I am going to miss ewe sumthin’ awful! Wen ewe gets to da Rainbow Bridge, tell Grady hi for me an twy to be nice to him, ok?

I luv ewe, Gizmo, and I’ll miss you.

Luv,

Jazzy the Amazing Wiener

 

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Jazzy in the Country

Hey, all ewe wiener lovers! We’re baaack!

Dis blog is all about our trip to da kountry! We went to Arkansas to see Mamaw, Papaw, and Nanny, which was kool ’cause Mamaw cooks weally good food, Papaw tinks we’re cute, and Nanny jest loves us to death! But seriously, we gots sum stuff to say about da kountry!

Like, for one, haf dey ever herd of a lawnmower?! I mean, look at my pikchur below!

Where’s Jazzy?!

I am surprised dat Mom didn’t lose me! It was like “Where’s Waldo?!” Oh, an not only was it tall grass, but it was wet, tall grass! Do ewe weally tink dat I wanted to get wet first ting in da morning, Mom?!


Tail Rudder Navigation

Going to The Barn
Next ting ewe know, Mom gets dis bright idea to go to de barn. Now, keep in mind, I am a wittle wiener! Walkin’ to da refrigerator is my idea of a long walk. Da barn has to be, I don’t know, like a million miles from da house! Well, maybe not a million, but at least a mile or two. Okay, maybe not even a mile, more like a long football field, but still! I’m wittle! My legs are short! I not a Greyhound, peeple!

I start out hoppin’ like a wabbit, which Mom tinks is cute an takes a ton of pikchurs. Cute my butt! Dis is hard work for my wittle legs! But I’ll show her! I keep going, den I finally find a break in da grass, kick up some speed, and zoom, der I go, tail still in da wind!


Making a Break!
Well, we finally made it to da barn. I tell ya, I wunned my patootie off tryin’ to get to da barn. Why? Here I was, tinking da “barn” was sum kool place dat had, like, I don’t know, maybe treats or sumthin’ like dat ’cause I herd dat cows lived in barns. And cows make milk, which makes ice cream, which I like, an den I started tinking of Frosty Paws, den I got hungry…

Oh, I digress. Sorry…


Resting before entering The Barn

Do ewe know what was in da barn?! Do you?! Ewe haf any stinkin’ idea whut my Mom dragged my patootie to?! A dusty, hay-filled, spider-lovin barn filled full of cobwebs, dirt, wood, and did I mention dirt?! I never sawed so much dirt in my life! Not one stinkin’ cow in sight, peeple! No milk! An sure as heck, no ice cream! I did all dat wunning for nothing!

Oh, and do ewe tink dat Mom wud pick me up and carry me back to da house?! Oh, no! She made me hop back jest like I went ’cause she was takin’ more pikchurs, dis time of Katie, who was wunning through da grass like a crazed wabbit! Or maybe a crazed wabbit on steroids!


Katie the Rabbit

Of course, Katie loved da grass ’cause she’s tall and she could leap through it in single bounds. Yeah, it makes her sound like SuperDog, which she’s not. More like StupidDog, but dat’s anoder subject for anoder blog!

I haf to say though, an if ewe tell her I sed dis, I will deny it wid my dying breath…watching Katie wun through the grass is poetry in motion. She’s wuns weally pretty and has such a good time! She’s such a goofy puppy!

Okay, like I sed, not a wurd to Kooky Katie.

Mom did take one pikchur of Katie dat was weally pretty. I guess I shud show it to ewe, but den I need to get back to being meen to her and writin’ de rest of my blog about da kountry.


Katie the Doberman

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
So, Mom finished takin’ pikchurs and I figgered, “okay, now she’ll pick me up!” Did she? No! I swear, I weally need to haf a talk wid her about her wesponsibilities as a wiener owner! She needs to wealize dat we shudn’t haf to be forced to walk wen der are perfectly good arms around to carry us back! Instead, we wunned all da way back to da house, in da soppin’ wet grass after getting in da dirt in the icky, cobweb-filled barn. I meen, take a look at how wet I am!


Kiss my patootie!

See dat face? Ewe know what it’s saying? Yep, dat’s right. Kiss my patootie, Mom! I’m wet, my paws are filthy, and der wasn’t even a cow in sight to give me sum ice cream or Frosty Paws! Sheesh! What a wasted twip!


My Tongue is Falling Out!

An look at how long my tongue is! It’s a wunder it didn’t fall wight out of my mouth! I was one pooped wiener, I tell ewe!

After da barn fiasco, I promptly went inside da house, told Mom in no uncertain terms dat I wudn’t ever go to a barn again unless I saw weal evidence of manure and cows, and dat I was going to Nanny’s for a nap! She jest looked at me and sighed as she often does.

Gizmo, my boyfriend (not!)
While I was at Mamaw’s, I got to see Gizmo, my boyfriend. Or so he tinks. Gizmo is a Miniature Pinscher. Mom took sum pikchurs of him an posted dem awhile back. He’s handsome enough, but jest not my type. I like ‘em a little bit taller. For one, all he does is lick my neck, like dat’s gonna make me like him or sumthin. I told him, “Gizmo, I’m not a lollipop. Stop lickin’ my neck!” but he jest keeped doing it. Ick! Boys! Katie twied to get him to play wid her, but all he wud do was growl and go back to twyin’ to lick my neck. I tink Gizmo needs a new hobby.

Seeing my Nanny
I did get to see my Nanny while I was in Arkansas. Nanny is Mamaw’s Mom and my Mom’s grandma. I love my Nanny! She holds me and loves me and tells me how sweet I am!

Note to Mom: Listen to Nanny and copy everyting she does, okay?

I waited each mornin’ for Nanny to get up, den I raced over to her door and waited for Mom to take me in, den I got to sit in Nanny’s lap forever! It was the best ting in the world. I wud gif her da best kisses and she jest giggled. Den she wud hold me in her arms like a baby and rock me. I love my Nanny sooo sooo much! Here’s a pikchur of me and my Nanny. Aren’t we the prettiest things?!

Aren’t we cute?

Y’all Come Back Now, Ya Hear?
All in all, I tink my twip to da kountry was fun, but I tink before I goes back, I might haf to check wid Papaw and see if he’s mowed da lawn or not. Or at least cut me a path to da barn. Oh, and I tink I’ll ask Papaw if he cud get sum cows up der ’cause dat wud weally be good to haf sum ice cream in da barn once I wunned so hard to get der! An maybe Mamaw cud haf sum ice cream waitin’ for me when I gots back to da house. Or maybe at least a ham sandwich or sumthin!

Well, all ewe wieners, hope ewe enjoyed my post. And as dey say in Arkansas, “Y’all come back again weal soon, ya hear?”

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