Archive for the ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ Category

Happy New Year 2012!

Happy New Year from Dopey Katie, Big Head, Jazzy the Amazing Wiener and Maggie Monster aka Katie, Xena, Jazzy and Maggie.

Happy New Year from Dopey Katie, Big Head, Jazzy the Amazing Wiener and Maggie Monster aka Katie, Xena, Jazzy and Maggie.

Hey all ewe wiener luvers! Happy New Year 2012! Yesserday, Mom spended most of da day takin’ pikchurs ob us for ar “Happy New Year” kard. I tol Mom, “Look, I izunt wearin’ no Mardi Gras beads ‘cuz I nos whut ewe haf to do to get ’em! An besides, Mom, I wanna nos eggactly how ewe gots dem!” She tol me, “Look, little wiener, your Uncle Bernie got those beads for us and I don’t have a clue what he did to get them, but you probably don’t want to know!” I wuz shocked! Den again, it iz meez Unkle Bernie an he iz meez Papa’s dad, so it maked sense. Dey are all goofballs, but I luvs dem anyways ‘cuz dey bees my family!

I haf been tinkin’ a lot about whut all dis “new year” stuff is about. Peeple haf been saying on Facebook dat 2011 was hard. Yeah, it wuz. But to be honest, I donut tink 2011 wuz any harder dan, say, 1914, 1929, 1939. All dos yeers had weally bad tings happen. In fact, if ewe look at history, jest about every yeer has sumthin’ bad happen in it.

Let’s face it, wiener peeps, bad tings happen no matter what da year.

If all wee fokus on is da bad, we will finds it. Sure, it’s hard to see gud wen ur heart has been broken. Or ur drowning in debt. Kan’t find a job. Or a loved one is in da hospital. I remember a heartbreaking phone call I receeved a long time ago, anguish on da oder end, “I’ll never love again!” It wuz my Papa wen he wuz only eight yeers old. Well, he didunt akshully call me. He called my Mom. But she tol me about it.

Anyway, I digwess.

Mom sed my poor Papa was brokenhearted. Third grade, eight yeers old, an he wuz never gonna fall in love again! Mom listened an twied to comfort him best she cud, all da while smilin’ on da oder end because she knew, surely, he would fall in love again, many times. He wud have his heart broken again, many times. An yet, he wud get up anoder day to do it all over again.

Why? Because der is gud in dis world. Ewe will win sum. Ewe will lose sum. Ewe will get jobs. Ewe may lose a job. Ewe will get ur heart broken. Ewe will swear never to fall in love again. Ewe will make friends. Ewe will lose friends. Ewe will lose loved ones.

But ewe will never lose da memories ewe haf made. Ewe will never lose da moments ewe haf experienced dat fill ur heart. I tol Mom, “The good and the bad, it’s what makes us who we are.” She wuz shocked I typed right, but I tol her dat wuz an original WienerBites quote, so it needed to be right. 🙂

It iz true! Da gud an da bad, it’s whut makes us who we are. So embrace the bad an learn from it. Hold on to da gud for all it iz worth an store it up for dos rainy days. An remember, life happens. It iz up to ewe to decide whut to do wid it!

Happy New Year! I luv all of ewe!


Jazzy the Amazing Wiener


New Year’s Resolution #1

Hey, all ewe wiener lovers! I nos dat ewe haf been waiting with bated breath (no, not bad breath, bated breath!) to see whut my New Year’s Rezolushun #1 is, right? Okay, without further adieu…

New Year’s Rezolushun #1: Love one another!

I look thrilled, don’t I?

Even tho I always talk about how dopey Katie is and all dat mean wiener stuff, I weally do luv her. I gots to thinkin’ about dat de oder day wen she comed over to my bed (well it’s weally her bed, but dat’s anoder story for anoder day), and laid down next to me. She was weally warm, so I snuggled up next to her, she put her hed next to mine, and we went to sleep. Dat’s when I new whut my New Year’s Rezolushun #1 was going to be: Love one another!

See, I tink da biggest ting dat’s wrong wid da world today is peeple haf forgotten how to love one anoder. An I’m not talkin’ about dat gooey, google-eye, moony-type luv dat ewe hewmons seem to engage in on a wegular basis (seriously, sniffin’ butts is much faster!)! Us dogs, we love each oder all da time. Sure, we bark and snarl and stuff, but dat’s only so we find out who’s who an where dey fit in da pack. Not everybody can be da leader. Dat’s my job! But once we gots it figgered out, most of da time we gets along jest fine wid each oder! It’s da hewmons dat normally ’cause problems in da pack!

Us dogs, we don’t kare if anoder dog is fat or skinny or tall or short or black or white or yellow or whutever! We don’t kare if ur a Doberman Pinscher or Catahoula or Rhodesian Ridgeback or Boston Terrier or MinPin! We don’t kare if anoder dog has a fancy collar or jest a rope. We don’t kare if anoder dog has bad breath or not. We jest don’t kare. It’s not part of how we luv one anoder at all ’cause we don’t get caught up in all dat stuff! All we see is DOG! An wen we sees DOG, we nos dat dey are part of our pack.

But ewe hewmons…gosh, where do I start? I alweady talked about how ewe rush around all da time, forgetting da tings dat are important. I talked about how ewe shud stop an smell da roses an I talked about how ewe shud keep ur nose kleen. Yet most important, I tink, is dat ewe haf forgotten how to love one anoder. Ewe haf forgotten dat ewe are all part of da same big pack! Sometimes it seems like so many peeple are angry or sad or somewhere in between. Dey haf forgotten how to be happy ’cause dey haf forgotten how to love. Dey haf forgotten dey’re part of the world pack an let’s face it, peeple, we needs one anoder.

Ewe might say, “What the heck do you know? You’re just a wiener!” Yep, dat is wight; I is jest a wittle wiener. But I learned a longtime ago dat luv is da one ting that makes a difference in dis world. I’m talking about selfless, giving of ur heart kinda love dat touches oder people, dat weaches out to da brokenhearted, to da sad, to the lonely ones of da world pack. I sorta touched on dat idea yesterday when I talked about helpin’ oders, leadin’ up to today.

See, wen ewe is full of love, it’s hard to feel meen or hold grudges or talk about ur neighbor. Wen ewe is full of love, ur not lookin’ over ur shoulder, waitin’ for sumone to be mean to ewe. Wen ewe is full of love, ur heart is light. It’s happy. If ur heart is full of luv, der is jest no room in it for anyting else. I meen, jest look at all da luv we hear about…

Da Big Guy upstairs said, “Love one another as I have loved you.”*

Da Beatles sang, “All you need is love…”

England Dan and John Ford Coley sang, “Light of the world, shine on me, love is the answer…”

Okay, so Mom listens to 70’s music a lot! It’s not like I can weach da iPod controls! 🙂

Do a search on Google an ewe’ll find 1.49 trillion results for da word love! Yeah, sum of dem are prolly bad stuff, so don’t go look! 🙂

Anyways, I digress…

Us dogs, if sumthin’ happens an it makes one of us mad, we might growl, snap, show our teeth, but den seconds later, it’s ofer, long forgotten an we’re back to playin’. Ewe hewmons, on da oder hand, whoa Nellie! Sumthin’ makes one of ewes mad an boy, ewe guys shure kan hold onto grudges an hurt feelings! Why? Weally, whut gud is it doing any of ewe to hold onto sumthin’ jest ’cause? All it does it take up space in ur heart dat ewe cud fill up wid love an be much happier!

See, I kompletely belief dat if hewmanity will weally learn to luv one anoder as da Big Guy has loved us, den we cud accomplish amazing tings! If we cud put aside slights an hurts an learn to forgive, we cud weally change da world! An all it takes is filling ur heart wid love.

“How in the world can I do that,” ewe ask? If ewe want love, give love. Help a stranger. Visit an elderly person. Rescue an animal. Volunteer ur time. Help a child learn to read. A famous American writer once sed, The love we give away is the only love we keep.” An dat is so true! If ewe wanna keep luv in ur heart, give love! Every single time dat ewe help anoder person, ewe are jest puttin’ money in da love bank!

I nos dat it’s not easy in today’s world to be happy. Der is sad stuff everyday an ewe might tink dat ’cause ur jest one person, ewe can’t make much difference. But dat is so not true! The power of one is whut makes dis world strong! Da power of one person who tries can move mountains. Da power of one person who stands up for change will see change. I tink dat Mother Teresa sed it best, “In this life we cannot always do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

An on dat note, I wish ewe great luv dis year an more. Fill ur heart with luv.

Jazzy the Amazing Wiener

*John 15:12


New Year’s Resolution #2

Hey, all ewe wiener lovers! Are ewe weady for New Year’s Rezolushun #2 yet? Here we go…

New Year’s Rezolushun #2: Keep ur nose kleen!

Regal-looking, izn’t it?!

Now, ewe might ask, whut eggactly does “keep ur nose kleen” haf to do wid New Year’s Rezolushuns? An no, it’s not boogers! Let me tell ewe…

See, us dogs do everyting wid our noses! Wen we’s born, we can’t see or hear nuthin, but we can smell. It’s de only ting dat weally works on us, so everyting we do is tied into our noses. We nos our Momma by our nose, we nos where da milk is by our nose, everyting!

As we get older, our noses can sumtimes get us into trouble! For eggsample, wen I smells sumthin’ weally gud, I tells Katie about it an she normally will wun into da kitchen to see whut it is. Of course, dis meens jumpin’ up on da counter to see whut Mom cooked, which meens dat Mom will yell at her to get off da counter an den she gets into trouble! So, maybe I shud rephrase dat: my nose can get Katie into trouble! ha ha ha!

Sorry, I digress. I kan’t help but be meen to Katie sumtimes. It’s just part of who I am. An evil wittle wiener! 🙂

Anyway, I meens, how many of ewe haf been out walking wid ur dogs an suddenly dey get a scent of sumthin’ an da next ting ewe nos, ur hangin’ on for dear life as ur dog takes off afer da scent? Oh, ewe nos it happens. I see dogs walkin’ der peeple by my house all da time!

Whut I meen to illustrate wid des stories is dat sumtimes our noses go where dey don’t belong. An da same ting cud be sed for hewmons. Sumtimes I see hewmons stick der noses in places I wouldn’t even put dem (like near Lily’s butt for one!)!! Hewmons don’t tink sumtimes, dey jest stick der noses in, sniff around, an da next ting ewe nos, dey is in trouble! Why do ewe tink dat da news is so full of bad stuff all da time? It’s because peeple are stickin’ der noses in where dey don’t belong.

Who am I to make dis kind of broad pronouncement, ewe ask? Well, for one, I am Jazzy the Amazing Wiener an I pays attenshun to a lot of stuff. Tink about it. Peeple start wars all da time. How comes? Normally ’cause sum dodo head decides he’s gonna stick his nose over in his neighbors land and decide he wants it. Da whole “grass is greener…” ting! Peeple get divorced a lot an how comes? A lotta times ’cause one person sniffed anoder person an thought dat dey smelled bedder dan their old person at home! Peeple gets mad at der neighbors. How comes? Most of da time ’cause dey stick der noses in where dey don’t belong, gossip, an make each oder mad.

Why all dis stickin’ noses in where dey don’t belong? Why all da fighting and gossip and sniffin’ places ewe shudn’t? What happened to being honest an trustworthy an mindful of oders? I tink a lot of times dat we forget dat da Good Book says dat we’re supposed to do to oders whut we wud like dem to do to us.*

Whut dis meens is, if ewe want sumone to treat ewe well, den ewe shud treat dem well. If ewe do dis, does it meen it will happen? Nope. Der are a lot of times dat ewe can be weally nice to peeple an dey still will treat ewe like…well…a dog. Does it meen dat ewe shud be mean back to dem? Nope. It meens dat ewe shud still twy to be good to dem. Why, ewe ask? ‘Cause it’s da right ting to do. Ewe never nos whut sumone else is going thru. Maybe dey are going thru a weally hard time or dey are sad or scared or alone. An maybe, jest maybe, ewe being nice to dem will be da one bright spot dey haf in der day. Maybe dey won’t show how much it meens to dem and maybe dey might jest not be nice back. But ewe will haf shown love to sumone who desperately needs it. An weally, isn’t dat whut it’s all about anyway? Love? It’s whut it shud be about.

See, love kan change da world. Ofer 2,000 years ago, da love of one Man changed a world condemned to sorrow. “Well, the world is still pretty sorry…” ewe might say. Yeah, in many aspects it is, I agree. Der are wars, an kids goin’ to bed hungry at night, an millions of animals beeing killed each year, an sick peeple gettin’ sicker. Der is a lot of sadness in da world.. Yep, you’ll find sadness and sorrow…if dat’s whut ur lookin’ for.

But there’s a lot of beauty and goodness in da world, too. Peeple who twy an make a difference in da lives of oders, not because dey hope for fame or fortune, but only because it’s da wight ting to do — des are da beeutiful. Everytime I watch da TV an I sees peeple like da CNN 2009 Heroes or da peeple who are stuck on da front lines defending our freedoms or da peeple who do da dirty jobs dat no ones wants. Tink about it. Der are beeutiful peeple in da world, helping oders every single day an most of da time, dey never get recognized for whut dey do. Dey jest do it because dey haf hearts full of love an dey want to help.

Back in August, da first time dat my Mom went out to da Washington County SPCA to take pikchurs of da homeless dogs an cats, she cried like a baby. She walked past a whole pack of puppies an one of dem had a sign on it’s cage dat sed, “Going home!” Ewe wud tink dat wud make her happy, an it did, but it also made her realize dat for sum of dem, dey wud never get to no a loving home. So dat was wen Mom decided dat she wud keep takin’ der pikchurs for as long as it takes until every single one of dos dogs an cats haf signs dat say “Going home!” Dat’s whut I’m talkin’ about…hearts full of love dat want to help!

So, I want ewe to tink about dat as we gets weady to leaf 2009 an head into a new decade for 2010. Is ur nose in da wight place? Are ewe keepin’ it kleen? Are ewe weady to sniff out new opportunities to make tings bedder dis year?

I’ve given ewe four great rezolushuns so far:

New Year’s Rezolushun #5: Be nicer to Dopey Katie!
New Year’s Rezolushun #4: Take more naps!
New Year’s Rezolushun #3: Stop an smell da roses!
New Year’s Rezolushun #2: Keep ur nose kleen!

An if ewe comes back tomorrow, ewe will gets to find out whut my New Year’s Rezolushun #1 will be!

On dat note, I want to wish ewe a safe and Happy New Year! Do sumthin’ different dis year…share sum love!

Jazzy the Amazing Wiener

*Luke 6:31


New Year’s Resolution #3

Hey, all ewe wiener lovers! It’s time for New Year’s Rezolushun #3. Are ewe ready?

New Year’s Rezolushun #3: Stop an smell da roses!

Hmm, smells like chicken!

Now, if ewe wead my blog post from yesterday, ewe nos dat I talked about how it seems dat all hewmons do is run around doing all kinds of tings, but sumtimes it seems like dat’s all ewe do: run around. But ewe haf to ask urself: are ewe weally happy wunning around all da time?

See, my point (an I do haf one!), is dat sumtimes it’s more important to stop wunning around an take a moment to breathe. I meen, look at us dogs. Whut is one of da first tings dat we do wen we go outside? Well, afer barkin’ an dooing our bidness….we throw our heads back, put our noses into da air, and sniff. Why? Well, if ur standing by Lily, dat might not be a gud ting ’cause she lets stinkers! But most of da time, it’s ’cause we wanna “see” whut’s going on. Dat’s how us dogs see stuff: we take time to sniff da world around us. An we learn a lot: who’s been in our yard, whut’s going on down da street with Pumpkin Pie, da Old English Sheepdog, an all kinds of tings!

Hewmons, on da oder hand, sumtimes get so bizzy dat dey miss some of da beauty around dem. Like Mom, she sumtimes gets worried about stuff. I hears her talkin’ to Mamaw a lot (hey, it’s not eavesdroppin’ if ur lyin’ in ur bed next to da phone!) an dey talk about de economy. Dey talk about Mom’s bidness. Dey talk about how meen peeple seem to be these days. Shoot, Mom’s iPhone goes off like 10 times a day wid “Braking News” alerts from CNN an not one of dem is ever gud news, so dey talk about dat, too.

Sumtimes, I jest wanna tell Mom, “Hey, Mom? Yeah, all dat stuff might be true. But at da same time, haf ewe went outside an seen how purty da sky looks? Did ewe see how da snow glistens wen da sun hits it? Haf ewe looked into my gorgeous brown eyes an seen how purty I am?” I meen, come on peeple! We are surrounded by a wealth of beautiful tings everywhere. An like I sed yesterday, why worry? It don’t do nuthin’ except rob ewe of good energy ewe cud haf used for today!

See, us dogs, we gots it right. Jest like I sed yesterday, we don’t fret over da past, we don’t worry about da future, we lives in da now. We nos how to stop an smell da roses, to appreciate da wittle tings around us. An no, dat wasn’t a wittle wiener joke! The Good Book sed dat da birds don’t worry about sowin’ or reapin’ but yet God feeds dem. An if He feeds dem, den surely we are much more important dan da birds, wight?* (No offense to any of my feathered friends! 🙂

Wen it comes wight down to it, it’s da wittle tings dat matter. Seeing ur grandbaby’s first smile or watching da sun come up over the hillside. Watching puppies play in da snow or the wonder in a child’s face da first time dey see a snowflake. Helping dat stranger on da side of da road when it’s pouring rain outside an no one else will stop to help. Des are da kind of tings dat matter. Not gettin’ dat new 60-inch flat-screen (altho dat wud be nice, Mom! I cud watch all da Dog Whisperer episodes frum my bed!), or worryin’ about wether ur portfolio is gonna go up or down. Sure, we gots to plan for da future. But we don’t haf to worry about da future. It won’t change it, no matter how much we worry. In fact, the Big Guy upstairs sed, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”*

So, for me, I tink dat I am gonna stop an smell da roses a wittle bit more dis year (tank God we don’t haf a boy dog anymore! Dat cud be dangerous! hee-hee). I tink dat I am gonna find sum of da wittle tings in life an appreciate dem more ’cause wen it comes wight down to it, it’s weally de only tings dat matter.

Jazzy the Amazing Wiener

*Matthew 6:25-34


New Year’s Resolution #4

Hey, all ewe wiener lovers! I’m back wid my top five New Year’s Rezolushuns. Weady for #4?

New Year’s Rezolushun #4: Take more naps!

Dis is da life!

See, wen hewmons are wittle kids, dey haf to take naps. Even wen Mom went to kinnergarden like a hundred years ago, she sed dat she had to take a nap everyday! So I ask ewe, how comes wen hewmons grows up dey don’t take naps? How come it is all dey do now is rush around all da time, twyin’ to fit in everyting…even sum tings dat aren’t weally important?! An all da time, dey are tired, tired, tired! I tells ewe whut, when I take a nap, I wake up refreshed an weady to bite Katie! Um…did I jest type dat? I meant, I waked up refreshed an weady to go! 😉

I tink dat der are lots of tings hewmons shud do dat dey don’t do jest ’cause dey are all grown-up. I meen, look at it frum my perspective as Jazzy the Amazing Wiener! Okay, okay, look at it frum da perspective of a dog. We haf jobs. Sure, most of us don’t get out an punch clocks, but we patrol da yard, we bark an let our hewmons nos sumone is at da door, we protect our pack and we luv our hewmons. But at da same time, we make sure to take time each day to play. We take naps. We gets up, we stretch, we go out an run da yard, we eat, we play, we nap, an den we do it all again. An we’re happy! We don’t worry if Princess da Poodle has a new collar or if Ralph the Beagle gots a new dog house! We is jest happy to be!

How comes all hewmons do is worry an feel stressed all da time? I tink it’s ’cause dey haf forgot how to “just be.” Dogs don’t fret about da past, we don’t worry about da future. We live for now. I like to tink dat da Big Guy upstairs is takin’ care of everyting, so why shud I worry about it? I wead a quote sumwheres dat said, “Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He’s going to be up all night anyway.”*

I like dat. I figure if I worry all da time, I wudn’t haf time to pick on Dopey Katie, let my pet Ms. Lily clean my ears, take naps, or do any of da tings dat I like to do!

So, on dat note, I’d like to gif ewe a wittle bit of advice frum da wurds of a weally famous hewmon: ” To be or not to be?” I’d say “just be.”

Jazzy the Amazing Wiener

*Quote by Mary C. Crowley