Well, we finally made it to da barn. I tell ya, I wunned my patootie off tryin’ to get to da barn. Why? Here I was, tinking da “barn” was sum kool place dat had, like, I don’t know, maybe treats or sumthin’ like dat ’cause I herd dat cows lived in barns. And cows make milk, which makes ice cream, which I like, an den I started tinking of Frosty Paws, den I got hungry…

Oh, I digress. Sorry…

Do ewe know what was in da barn?! Do you?! Ewe haf any stinkin’ idea whut my Mom dragged my patootie to?! A dusty, hay-filled, spider-lovin barn filled full of cobwebs, dirt, wood, and did I mention dirt?! I never sawed so much dirt in my life! Not one stinkin’ cow in sight, peeple! No milk! An sure as heck, no ice cream! I did all dat wunning for nothing!

Oh, and do ewe tink dat Mom wud pick me up and carry me back to da house?! Oh, no! She made me hop back jest like I went ’cause she was takin’ more pikchurs, dis time of Katie, who was wunning through da grass like a crazed wabbit! Or maybe a crazed wabbit on steroids!

Of course, Katie loved da grass ’cause she’s tall and she could leap through it in single bounds. Yeah, it makes her sound like SuperDog, which she’s not. More like StupidDog, but dat’s anoder subject for anoder blog!

I haf to say though, an if ewe tell her I sed dis, I will deny it wid my dying breath…watching Katie wun through the grass is poetry in motion. She’s wuns weally pretty and has such a good time! She’s such a goofy puppy!

Okay, like I sed, not a wurd to Kooky Katie.

Mom did take one pikchur of Katie dat was weally pretty. I guess I shud show it to ewe, but den I need to get back to being meen to her and writin’ de rest of my blog about da kountry.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
So, Mom finished takin’ pikchurs and I figgered, “okay, now she’ll pick me up!” Did she? No! I swear, I weally need to haf a talk wid her about her wesponsibilities as a wiener owner! She needs to wealize dat we shudn’t haf to be forced to walk wen der are perfectly good arms around to carry us back! Instead, we wunned all da way back to da house, in da soppin’ wet grass after getting in da dirt in the icky, cobweb-filled barn. I meen, take a look at how wet I am!

See dat face? Ewe know what it’s saying? Yep, dat’s right. Kiss my patootie, Mom! I’m wet, my paws are filthy, and der wasn’t even a cow in sight to give me sum ice cream or Frosty Paws! Sheesh! What a wasted twip!

An look at how long my tongue is! It’s a wunder it didn’t fall wight out of my mouth! I was one pooped wiener, I tell ewe!

After da barn fiasco, I promptly went inside da house, told Mom in no uncertain terms dat I wudn’t ever go to a barn again unless I saw weal evidence of manure and cows, and dat I was going to Nanny’s for a nap! She jest looked at me and sighed as she often does.

Gizmo, my boyfriend (not!)
While I was at Mamaw’s, I got to see Gizmo, my boyfriend. Or so he tinks. Gizmo is a Miniature Pinscher. Mom took sum pikchurs of him an posted dem awhile back. He’s handsome enough, but jest not my type. I like ’em a little bit taller. For one, all he does is lick my neck, like dat’s gonna make me like him or sumthin. I told him, “Gizmo, I’m not a lollipop. Stop lickin’ my neck!” but he jest keeped doing it. Ick! Boys! Katie twied to get him to play wid her, but all he wud do was growl and go back to twyin’ to lick my neck. I tink Gizmo needs a new hobby.

Seeing my Nanny
I did get to see my Nanny while I was in Arkansas. Nanny is Mamaw’s Mom and my Mom’s grandma. I love my Nanny! She holds me and loves me and tells me how sweet I am!

Note to Mom: Listen to Nanny and copy everyting she does, okay?

I waited each mornin’ for Nanny to get up, den I raced over to her door and waited for Mom to take me in, den I got to sit in Nanny’s lap forever! It was the best ting in the world. I wud gif her da best kisses and she jest giggled. Den she wud hold me in her arms like a baby and rock me. I love my Nanny sooo sooo much! Here’s a pikchur of me and my Nanny. Aren’t we the prettiest things?!

Y’all Come Back Now, Ya Hear?
All in all, I tink my twip to da kountry was fun, but I tink before I goes back, I might haf to check wid Papaw and see if he’s mowed da lawn or not. Or at least cut me a path to da barn. Oh, and I tink I’ll ask Papaw if he cud get sum cows up der ’cause dat wud weally be good to haf sum ice cream in da barn once I wunned so hard to get der! An maybe Mamaw cud haf sum ice cream waitin’ for me when I gots back to da house. Or maybe at least a ham sandwich or sumthin!

Well, all ewe wieners, hope ewe enjoyed my post. And as dey say in Arkansas, “Y’all come back again weal soon, ya hear?”